Comfort Boxsets: A Safe Haven in a Chaotic World
Written by Cara Lee
1 Oct 2023
We joke a lot in the autistic community about our comfort boxsets but for those of you who are unfamiliar with this term I'd like to try and explain it, at least from my own personal perspective.
The world is chaotic and anxiety inducing, especially when your nervous system is far more sensitive than is typical.
People use many ways to soothe themselves and make their life predictable and watching the same show or movie repeatedly can be one of those ways.
My Comfort Boxset: Friends
I know some of the language and comedy is outdated but I grew up with the show and those characters being constant, predictable fixtures in my confusing and chaotic life. When I watch the show, I feel calm and safe, and I know many others do too.
Why Comfort Boxsets Work
- Predictability: We know what will happen, there's no suspense or worry because we have already seen how these situations are resolved.
- Familiar Characters: We get to know the characters, their personalities and their voices which may bring us a sense of calm.
- Memorized Lines: We know the lines, we can maybe even quote them alongside the characters, making the time we are watching the show very predictable.
Often when watching one of these shows it gives us a break from worrying about the future. It can ground us in the moment. I know I class it as a sort of dissociation from reality. I can escape into that world for a while, where things make sense and there's no surprises.
Many people also find this same comfort, safety and escapism in games. The worlds and the characters have strictly defined rules, plus if you make a mistake, you can just go back and try again, unlike reality, where every action has an irreversible reaction.
It's important to note:
Lots of humans will have comfort shows or movies because many humans experience anxiety and dysregulation, so having one doesn't mean you're autistic. However, autistic people do tend to struggle a lot with anxiety due to owning a nervous system that doesn't always react very well to the world around us, so a large number of us will likely have one.
Do you have a comfort boxset, movie, game or documentary?
Cara Lee
Late diagnosed autistic and ADHD mother. I love to share my experiences and help others know they're not alone.